Essentials For Any Student With Money To Burn
We all know most students have no money of their own, right? But Mom and Dad do!
So…. young men and women, future thought leaders and promising captains of industry, we’re compiling a growing list of essential student items that you can hand to your parents.
Simply print off a cover sheet saying ” Message from the Head of College” and wait for the goodies to arrive…..
7-Eleven Slurpee Maker
Ah yes, the 7-Eleven Slurpee Maker – ‘ice cold happiness in a tub’!
The Gonkford English dictionary defines ‘happiness’ as having exactly what you want when you want it. And the face that humans pull when in this state is precisely that of this little spoilt brat, helping himself to his fourth (and fifth!) iced slushy drink of the day!
Normally we’d say “Let’s have some discipline please!” but in the case of students well…. there may be some days when a Slurpee is the only solid food you can muster….!
Johnny says the Beard Bib saved his relationship!
“It’s brilliant! You just attach it to the mirror with the suction cups and the bib catches all the trimmings. There’s no mess, no clogged sink and no more angry girlfriend!”
But why such drama Johnny?
“Well, last week Tanya discovered my five-year-old toenail collection, so it was touch and go.
Aaw, you can’t beat the love of a good woman, eh!
Daily Bread Jesus Toaster
And the Lord spake and said “Let there be toast, and lo, go forth and eat the toast which I provide for thee. Particularly you student types who eat nothing else”.
Well, mate, the Jesus Toaster did the providing actually! And this is not Jesus as in.. Jesus, silly! This is Jesus Jones, the patron saint of toast and crispy bread products.
Nice one J.J.!
This awesome Home Planetarium transforms any room into a spaceship flight deck looking out into a star filled universe.
Using white LED technology it projects 60,000 stars onto walls and ceilings. It’ll leave students of the night sky ‘starstruck’ or at least wondering what was in that last spliff!
Chocolate Milk Mixer Mug
For students of statistics this Chocolate Milk Mixer Mug prompts another scientific fact from Professor Hilary Gonk!
When making the average drink of chocolate milk, 15% of the chocolate powder falls on to the worktop, 29% of which subsequently ends up on the floor. Nice drink; big mess!
Now this Chocolate Milk Mixer Mug solves the problem, so that every student’s quiet night in doesn’t have to be a messy one – 100% sorted!
Periodic Table Building Blocks
Chemistry students! Now you can be absorbing information even when you’ve absorbed too much of the wacky baccy.
Even when slouched on your sofa, semi-semi-comatosed, you can get in some late revision using these Periodic Table Building Blocks.
Then, at tomorrow’s exam you’ll be wowing the Bunsen’s off them like a regular Walter White – if you can make it to the exam hall that is!
Pop your iPad into this Atari Arcade and be transported back to when your dad bossed the universe at Asteroids; when his homework came second to the classic Centipede; and when his parents told him that playing Missile Command he’d never amount to anything.
Now that guy is funding your life..!
Up to two players, four buttons and a big red joystick – marvellous..!!
Leopard Paw Slippers
We know what a caring bunch students are, so we’d like to make one thing clear at the outset. No creature has suffered to make these amazing Leopard Paw Slippers.
I mean, let’s face it! If there really was a leopard out there with these soft squishy claws, then gazelles and the other guys would die laughing!
The ‘paws’ are also ultra soft, warm and totally suitable for prowling about dorms and halls all day long.
3D Latte Art Maker
Ah yes, the 3D Latte Art Maker! They said it couldn’t be done! They said the technology was 30 years away! But if ever the photograph is proof of human ingenuity in the face of overwhelming odds, this flopped-out foamy fella is it!
Let your inner Michelangelo loose on the latte with this 3D Latte Art Maker and you’ll never go back to stencils and sprinkles!
Who knows, if you get offered a Head Barista job, you may never go back to lectures either!
Battle Shots Board Game
The Battle Shots Board Game is boozy warfare at its best! Never in the field of human combat has so much depended on your ability to guess correctly – you must identify your enemy’s location to force them to down a shot. As the battle rages on, your sea legs might wobble and your ships might sink. Either you need to be the first to blow up your opponent’s boats, or the last one to hit the deck!
2-In-1 Pie Pan
If you’re a student who:
- loves pies
- occassionaly does some cooking
- is not sure whether you’re indecisive,
….we present the 2-In-1 Pie Pan!
You’ll never again need to decide between steak & peas or ham & beans. OCD types could ensure a complete pie meal by loading the other side with apple and blackberry.
And for Maths students, remember the amount of pie in a circle is half pie times two…! Yum!
8GB Metal Revolver Gun USB Pen
Stick ’em up or stick it on your laptop! Protect your computer and back it up with this quality build Metal Revolver Gun USB. Load it up with your favourite movies or pics and reload using the super fast USB 2.0 interface. It’s great looking and ultra realistic, so don’t point it at a burly police officer or you could end up with one memory you’d rather not have!